Marriage quandries

What does marraige really mean? A contract? An encounter? Beats me....I am still looking for answers.

One thing's for sure....Marriage is about discovery.

I guess the first thing is that I discovered as a husband is I am inherently a selfish person. We can probably all say that about ourselves but the mere fact that I'm a lecturer with a full-time job defines the extent of my affliction. In the first years of my married life, I never saw myself as selfish. Not that I thought I was unselfish, mind you . . . I just never really thought about it at all.

I've learned that being a selfish person can really harm a relationship--especially because I never thought about it.

I've found, to my utter astonishment, that we are not all alike. You know what I mean? Ever hear anyone say, "Hey, we're all human." Well, at one level, that's certainly correct. But to make that statement apply everywhere is just flat-out dangerous.

Being a husband is the simplest job in the world. It is also the most empowering. Most rewarding. Most satisfying. Most stabilizing. Most . . . . . . frightening in some ways.

And trust me......marriage is a learning game. To become a master of it takes time and lots of self reflection.